I feel like I’ve been handed something I thought would take years to accomplish. Part of me is irritated that I didn’t pursue a management position years ago when it became clear that I was built for leadership. But I can’t throw away the last 8 years of work. I learned a lot about human nature. That has to be worth something.
Something has happened. I’m hesitant to write about it, because I’m still fighting the fear that it won’t last. But since this happening is centered around encouraging my best life possible, I’m going to hazard to write about it anyway!
There’s something about vision that people don’t seem to talk about. I expected that when I received a vision for my life it would be grand and detailed and all the details would be spelled out. But the vision I’m catching isn’t overt or spoken from the sky. There hasn’t been a big booming voice describing the purpose of my life these last two weeks. There is simply a trend emerging that keeps pointing and nudging me in a certain direction. I don’t exactly know where I’m going, but I’m seeing small pieces off it; teaching in a seminar, setting an example for non-profit leadership, re-organizing business structures, helping others to catch their entrepreneurial dreams.
I couldn’t help but appreciate the alliteration when the thought struck me: The more perfection I pursue, the more I procrastinate. Maybe it’s fear of failure. Maybe it’s laziness. “I won’t do it justice, or I don’t have time to do my best,” I reason, so I don’t do it. It isn’t until I lower my unreasonable standards and take a shaky step forward that I finally see progress. It isn’t perfect, but it’s more than what it was before. Then I have to temper my tendency to nit-pick everything as its emerging. “Just close your eyes and take action, Bethany. It won’t be perfect, and you’ll live… And don’t listen to the asses that criticize your progress. You’re living!”
This post is literally a month in the making, so please bear with the random turns it takes…
My dad paid good money awhile back for a series of audio recordings and a workbook to help someone setup a blog. The problem with his plan was that he never listened to the recordings or went through the workbook.
At the end of my four-day Thanksgiving vacation, mentally well-armed with having washed, dried, folded, and put away every article of dirty clothing in the house, I cracked the workbook.
I completed another page from Johanna Basord’s Secret Garden coloring book last night. I started it at my mom’s over Thanksgiving by applying a light pink “wash” over the whole page so the background wouldn’t be plain white. I’m happy with the result. I’m not a water color genius, but it looks better than the average bear. My creative, INFJ side can breathe a bit easier.