Irish Blood Rage

tink happy
Hook | TriStar Pictures

I don’t take kindly to being talked down to. Not at all really. Actually, that’s probably the best possible way to make an enemy out of me. Forever. Yes, you’ll be my enemy, and I’ll pray for you, because Jesus says to pray for enemies, not to be friends with everyone. It feels emotionally immature, but screw that. Don’t talk to me like an idiot child! I don’t care who you are. Any hope of a working relationship with me will cease. Today. Which will suck for you, because I am invariable rock star, and I can make your life and your work much, much easier, as I’ve proven over the last sixteen years as a god of administration. Yes, I’m confident about my skills. I should be. I’m amazing.

I had a bad afternoon yesterday, and I’m obviously still stewing about it. (Yes, I’ve already admitted to acting emotionally immature, and I’m going with it.) I was so tense when I sat down to dinner I felt like I was shaking. I checked my hands. They weren’t shaking, but my skin was crawling. Here are a few drafts I decided it would be best not to send, so I’ve got that going for me in the wisdom arena.

  • Your communication skills leave much to be desired. Why don’t you try rephrasing your request as if your reputation, your legitimacy as a professional, and my respect for you depended on it?
  • Do you think I can’t hear the degrading, insulting, manipulative, and disdainful tone in your voice? Do you think you could hear it if I talked to you that way?
  • I’m sorry, I must have forgotten when I said you could talk to me like an inbred imbecile. Is there something you’d like to ask the person whose help you need to get through this audit, namely me?
  • Certainly! I’ll get to work on that as soon as I forfeit my self-respect and start letting people shit on me.

I watched crap TV until two in the morning just to get my mind off the situation, which didn’t help my mood very much. What the hell is on these days anyway?

**Huff**

Isn’t there a blog I follow that talks about happy, positive things? I should check that out more often. Or maybe I should use the fire to promote my consulting business. I got my business cards in the mail today. They’re awesome, like me. Designed by me, of course: minimalist, clean, essential information only.

**Deep breath**

I thought I decided being angry was a waste of energy. I thought I decided horrible people weren’t worth this kind of effort. Apparently my Irish blood can still boil and I still believe my anger is justified. (I’m an American mutt, and I’ve never become violent, but there’s enough Irish in these veins for my flare-ups to worry me over the years.)

I know, “Unforgiveness is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead.” But it’s hard to always be the bigger person. Every. Time. I don’t have to work with this person very often, but every time I do, I want to walk out. I imagine myself throwing a pile of papers in the air, screaming profanities, and slamming the door on my way out. Every time. Without fail. I’ve never had a working relationship that was so toxic, not even close. I went to HR about it and they said not to waste my breath. It will only make it worse. (Not the biggest fan of how HR handles internal conflict either, at all really.)

//End Bitter Recap